Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
