I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm getting married
To pizza
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
