We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
