lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
