Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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