fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
