I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
