yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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