all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
