ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
