just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
