she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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