# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
