I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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