I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
