it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
