I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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