You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
