I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
