it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i believe in u and ur pee
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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