he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I am morally bankrupt
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
