Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
