hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
