I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
