you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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