Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Alive.
So much puke
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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