Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I am spending my child support on dildos
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
