dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
