I murdered the dance floor call the cops
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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