well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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