you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
