just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
