The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
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