He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
