If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
