is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
