Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just cut my nipple shaving
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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