Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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