It's Friday. Sex?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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