I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
