He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
