is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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