I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
