i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
