We won't sleep together?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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