So drunk its hurt
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
