her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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