im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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