there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
