How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
