I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
