he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
