That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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