Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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